Walt: write an interesting and detailed recount
It was Friday morning and there I was at school, while walking I remembered it was market day. Selling and buying, that's all that was happening. Suddenly , I check to see if I brang my product, I surely didn't want to let my team down. When looking down I sighed with relief, my product was in my bag.
Snif snif snif what is that I smell. I realised it was the aroma coming from homeware candles. Every team had set up everything ready to go for the trade and enterprise 2015 market day. I so excited that I stayed near the porch until morning tea finished. We were all there for a reason, to sell buy and make money. There wasn't just homeware but also jewellery, stationery, music and toys. Every group had their products it was all so exciting.
Finally it was time, My group and I decided it that I will sell first and they will buy. I had an idea to start doing a add to entertain people to our candles. We have made six orange candles, and sixteen skull faced candles. Entertaining people for our candles were working, Later on the whole selling thing became a challenge, The other homeware group challenged us to see who can make the most money, Challenge accepted.
When selling the products I realised our product was easily disappearing one by one. After some time I was informed that we were making a lot of money/ pts and pieces. While selling the products I couldn't wait to start buying before everything was out of order. I was really interested in the popsicle sticks and knew that there were a lot of fans. I was feeling too excited staring at people eating and licking the popsicle sticks, one of my team mates bought everyone in our group tiny popsicle stick, but I thought that was NOT enough.
“Half time”, says Mr S. I was now free to buy my popsicle stick. When happily getting there they were all sold out. With my head down I felt very very sad, I put my head up and there I see cute cupcakes that looked kinda like pandas. I enjoyed it as it went it my mouth it was delicious. I ate my cupcake in front of the popsicle lovers, showing off. I couldn’t finish my cupcake, so I gave it to my friend. I started to tour around and admire such things like maths book covers, loom band Jewellery, drums, ukuleles, a variety of food and different kinds of toys.
After a hard day of shopping and selling it was time for market day to end. Having fun and enjoying market day made me more than happy, But ending it made me sad. We then had to count our money and that frown turned upside down. We made fifteen pts, even though we made a little I was happy for my team and me. But I myself was still enemies with the popsicle loves.
Write for my reader
I've tried to think about my reader
My writing shows some awareness of reader because my writing is quite clear and I have tried to interest my reader.
My writing is easy to understand and I have tried to tell the reader what it was like to be there by giving details and my thoughts.
My writing really considers audience as reader because I have kept their interest and made them feel like they know exactly what it was like for me.
I tried to meet the purpose
My text goes some way towards meeting the purpose
The message is clear in some parts of the recount.
My text fully meets the purpose.
The message is clear all through the recount.
My introduction does not yet clearly orientate or hook in my reader.
My introduction gets some buy in from audience and they can understand what I am going to write about.
My introduction hooks in my reader and it is clear what I am writing about.
My introduction wows my reader!
My paragraphs are confused and don't follow my plan.
I have tried to follow my plan.
Most my paragraphs are about 1 big idea and I have added some detail.
My paragraphs have some complex as well as simple sentences. Post paragraphs give details about 1 big idea.
I have followed the paragraph topic in my plan.
My paragraphs have complex and simple sentences. Paragraphs all give details about 1 big idea.